Lordt, The Splinter Cell Chronicles. “Silent and Smooth”

We’d entered Yastreb Archives with the aim of being silent and smooth, as always.

After all, all we had to do hack some computers.

The reality involved a broken chandelier, a dozen empty magazines, two dozen dead guards and 2 pairs of brown trousers.

It’s difficult to pinpoint where it all went wrong, but I suspect it was during the stage when my companion was sneaking around on the edge of a balcony and I thought I’d “help him out” by poppin’ a cap into the head of a guard approaching his position.

I hadn’t shared my plan. I just thought I’d do it and then look smug when the guard slumped over the balcony next to him. Besides, I knew my companion had a penchant for non-lethal combat if at all possible and to be honest, I don’t buy that, even from Batman.

So I took aim and fired, silencer on of course.

I missed and clipped an enormous chandelier.

I crowned as the chandelier decided if it wanted to drop or not and I saw my companion turn as he heard the unmistakable chink of bullet upon chain/glass.

And then it fell.

And not only did it fall, it fell on a group of guards hanging out beneath it, showering them in glass but otherwise only serving to alert them as to our presence.

Seconds later my companion fell from the balcony. I say fell, he was pushed by the guard that I had failed to take down.

I suppose the saving grace here was that we were now in a darkened section of the vast room, albeit teeming with guards. I mean, there were a LOT of guards; so many guards in fact that I considered fucking off.

But then I remembered my pay check, or lack thereof if I abandoned the mission at this critical time.

I stormed over with not 1 but 2 syringes of adrenalin and let him have one in both sides of the groin.

He was hard for hours.

The room became a warzone. Our “quiet” approach had turned into the usual massacre. Oh well, at least now we could go loud.

I brought out the sub-machine gun and stitched a human outline around a marble pillar of the guard I was shooting at. Eventually I needed to reload and I hit the deck as he returned fire.

I saw my companion take cover too. He gave me a withering look.

“The hacking” he hissed. “let’s get it done and get out of here!”

I signaled with hand gestures that the next room looked empty and that we should hold up in there for the moment. He nodded in recognition and we burst in like we owned the joint.

It was full of guards and as I had tactically let my companion enter first he was cut down like a corn stalk.

I opted to stay out of the room and poked my head round the corner. 4 of them, and my companion looked dead.

Shit.

I reloaded and kneecapped one of them. While I had their attention I noticed my companion sit up like The Undertaker and switch off the light.

There was some kind of kerfuffle and when the light came back on everybody was dead.

I used a third shot of adrenalin on my companion, this time directly to the tip, and then one on myself for giggles.

There was a moment’s respite. All the guards in the area had bought it and it seemed as though those remaining had clustered around the data units we were required to infiltrate.

Great.

“Quietly” my companion said.

I nodded and we both shimmied up the pillars and hung off the balconies.

To be honest I was somewhat surprised at how anyone with so much adrenalin inside them could still function.

As we hung off the balcony I noticed a bulge in the crotch of his trousers. I hadn’t needed to see that and it ruined the whole evening for me.

Next we split up and took a sector each in order to hack the terminals. Apparently all we needed to do was to get near the computers and we could transmit wirelessly. The closer we got the quicker it would be.

A natural coward I had already tried accessing the data in the car park, but it just wasn’t working.

I could see my companion near his 2 terminals, just below, hanging off the balcony. He silently crept up and choked out the guard nearby, setting the data transfer off and giving us a time limit.

We had a minute left for me to complete my hacking and 2 guards were camped beside the computers.

I hung off the balcony and waited. The transfers had begun, but were painfully slow. I couldn’t risk taking on both guards so close to completing our goal. With any luck the hack would complete and I could lower safely down and out the back door.

But no. There just wasn’t time.

10 seconds left and only 80% hacked.

We were fucked.

At the last second I pulled myself up over the balcony and the transfer shot up, completing but 1 second before the deadline. I more or less fell into the computer stack and the guards rumbled my straight away.

I leapt back over the balcony leaving a trail of shit behind me. That was close.

As the guards swung around with their torches my companion had the misfortune to be just rounding the corner.

Needless to say, a 4th shot of adrenalin was summarily needed.

Having taken down the two guards from behind and saved my companion AND having just completed the data transfer I was feeling pretty good.

Hands on hips I stood on the balcony and surveyed the scene.

“Yup… Silent and smooth as always”

 

~Lordt