Lordt, The Diablo Chronicles. “Thanks”

“A resplendent chest, you say?” I muttered to my companion as I fingered the remnants of my beard.

We stood on the threshold of a dungeon, deep within the terra firma.

“There is usually one in here…” he replied.

Before he could finish his sentence I was half way down the corridor, the mere mention of a chest setting my legs into motion. I’d recently acquired some new boots which also hastened my progress due to some magical enchantment. At least I’d get there first.

Then, like so many times before it dawned on me. Somewhere beyond sight within the depths of the cavern system would almost certainly be a plethora of beasts waiting to carve me up into some form or paste and/or dine upon my man-flesh.

I came to a slow halt.

“Hmm, perhaps you should go first?” I uttered to my monk companion.

He looked sceptical. “I always open the chests first, perhaps it’s you turn?” he looked hard at me.

“You are allowing me first refusal on the chest?” he wasn’t buying it. I nodded meekly.

I saw an inward sigh as he resigned himself to the fact that we weren’t going anywhere unless he started walking, and so took the lead.

“Quite the interior decorators, wouldn’t you say?” I offered, trying to break the silence as we walked down the corridors. A small ball of flame hovered above my hand as I illuminated the immediate area. The walls were more or less decorated in intestines and faeces.

“Would you shut up?” my companion replied, eager for stealth. “With a piece of luck we can be in and out of here quicker than curry through a week olde baby”

I gulped, wondering if the decoration on the walls was indeed the result of curry through week olde baby.

As we rounded a corner I noticed a gleam of light at the end of the tunnel. Mine eyes transfixed, what I failed to notice was the trap immediately before me that my companion had deftly stepped around.

Seconds later a set of spikes smashed into he ground before me. I narrowly avoided being turned into said paste, but the damage was done; my britches now swung unnaturally with shit as they we tucked into my boots.

I had expected a berating from my companion but he said nothing, instead getting low and creeping closer to the chest that was glinting in the corner.

This annoyed me as secretly I wanted to open the chest first, and to be honest I didn’t even really care what was in it given the amount of tat we found laste time.

He stopped. This was my chance. “Now before we open…” he began to say, but it was too late. One teleport spell later and I was pulling stuff out of the resplendent chest like I was searching for a diamond in a pile of dirty socks.

Moment’s later the room was a hive of activity. We were boned.

“You fucking idiot!” I heard my companion shout. I say heard, but it would be more accurate to say I thought I heard, as I was actually in town selling up and smelting all the wares I had discovered within the chest. A pretty penny I got for them too.

Somewhere through the portal I thought I heard the ghostly echoes of my companion cursing me from a distance…

As I stuffed another few gems into my stash I considered that I should probably go and help him.

I stuck my nose through the portal and was met with a solid stone wall. “Wallers”. Great, the beasts had spell casters with them that had the ability to wall you in with magically create mounds of earth. Not such a problem for me, as I could just teleport out, but for my companion, well…

Seconds later the wall vanished and I nearly tripped over my companion as I jumped through the portal heaving a full half dozen meteorites onto the field of battle. The noise was deafening and the visuals, blinding.

“Ahaha, I’m just warming up!” I shouted to a quiet cavern.

All about lay a mass of corpses, piled high, naturally due to my own prowess. In the centre of the cavern stood a small wooden cross surrounded by a pile of loot.

I recognised the remains as that of my companion and began to work a spell to resurrect him. Seconds later he appeared, somewhat miffed.

He uttered but one word and I wasn’t not entirely sure that it was sincere.

“Thanks.”

 

~Lordt